Well...

Oh dear, terrible blogger here.
In my defense, we've had a heck of a year here in Casa Miller. Let me elaborate:

Scott and I spent most of February in various doctors offices, getting some long neglected health issues scrutinized by the professionals. As a result of all this, we've been a bit busy dealing with the fall out.

Now, just to clarify, everyone is FINE. Yes, we are dealing with some chronic issues, but nothing is life threatening, just incredibly annoying. And thankfully, the kiddos are as healthy and ornery as ever :)

Let me back up. At the beginning of the year, I decided to find a new doc and put myself and my health "on the list". You know "the list". The one that we as moms make that includes all of the stuff we do everyday, for everyone, to make life work. I've left myself off of that list and shoved everyone elses needs FAR above my own for years. You know, as "good" mothers do ;P The thing is, my kids are getting bigger and don't need me nearly as much as they did in years past. I was really running out of excuses for not taking care of myself, so I decided that it was okay for me to focus on ME. Enter a new family doc. I haven't really had a regular doc since...hmm...my pediatrician. Yikes. Yes, I go yearly to my "lady doc", but as for the rest of my health, I've been content to let it slide. If I did get sick, I went to the doc in the box for a round of antibiotics and was good to go. But I'm in my 30's now, and I know that I needed to get myself checked out. Boo hiss. So I found a doc I liked and actually talked to her about what was going on with me, a big step for me and my "I take care of everyone else, no one needs to take care of me" philosophy. So, long story short, I got a physical, blood work and a referral to a specialist :(

Everything on my blood work was fine, though my cholesterol was higher than I was comfortable with. So I decided to start writing down EVERYTHING I ate, cut out the emotional eating, make better food choices, and watch my portion sizes. As a result, I've lost 22 lbs, so go me :) I don't have the greatest family history and I want to try and control the risk factors I do have by being healthier. Now, I struggled with whether to share this as it feels like I'm putting pressure on myself, but if I can't be honest here, I can't be honest with myself. So there you go. I'm not trying to be skinny (which I won't ever be), just healthier. I have no goal per se, I just want to feel better.

Which leads me to the specialist :( I've been having, ahem, GI issues, for YEARS. Seriously, it's ridiculous the amount of time I've let this go. But really, NO ONE wants to deal with the kinds of tests you have to go through to diagnose and treat these issues. Trust me. I'd rather give birth, unmedicated, everyday for a week straight, than deal with this again. shudder So I will spare you details of this experience, but I will say that it was traumatic and scary, and that the doctors office I had to deal with was absolutely horrific and continually tried to blow off my concerns about my health. I do not have good feelings about them, and in fact, I'm angry just thinking about it. Anyway, to make a long story shorter, and among other issues, it seems that my body has stopped producing the enzyme necessary for digesting lactose. That's right people, I'm lactose intolerant. Doesn't that just suck? While I'm grateful that it's not something more serious like cancer or Celiac's disease (I mean really, can you imagine how fun I'd be if I couldn't have BREAD?!?!?), it has now put me in a position to have to think about everything I eat, all the time. It's tiring and annoying. The good news is I can take a pill and eat some dairy without too many issues, but it makes traveling a bit more complicated now (though to be honest, the GI issues made it pretty hard to). So while it's nice to have a reason for why all the GI stuff was going on, it is chronic and something I get to deal with forever. Blah. I had a taste of this lifestyle when I was nursing the kiddos, but knowing that there was an end in sight was nice. No end here. And a side note, there is also no way to know if my kids really had a problem with dairy, or the way my body was processing the dairy. Interesting and unimportant side note.

So that's some of what's been going on with me. I tell you all this to let you know where I've been for the last month or so, and also to let you know why I've been acting weird. Please know that I wasn't telling anyone for any other reason than I was embarrassed and annoyed that I had to deal with this. I suck at needing support. Seriously, I suck at it. So if we are having a meal at your house and I don't eat much, please DON'T FEEL BAD! And don't change your cooking for me!!! Everyone doesn't need to suffer with my lack of dairy (or yummy grease, or caffeine...sigh). Truly, I don't want my stuff to effect everyone else!! Just don't feel bad if I skip out on a part of the meal. I may have forgotten my pills or decided that I'd had enough dairy that day. No worries...trust me, I won't starve :) And I've found a new friend in almond milk. It's nice to have alternatives :)

On a more positive note, I feel good. Normal. Sane. Haven't felt this way in YEARS. It's amazing the stress and anxiety that comes from not knowing what's making you sick, or how to stop it, or when it's going to strike. So that's nice. Now, if I never have to deal with the GI doc or his office ever again, it would be lovely :)

As for Scott, he hasn't been sleeping well in a very long time. He jerks around and wakes himself up, he snores and wakes himself up, he just doesn't get quality sleep. Add to that a 2 hour commute and you have a man that falls asleep on the couch at 9pm most nights :( He's been to a doctor in the past to see what's going on and how to make it better. He's had blood tests, a sleep study and various other tests through the years and has gotten nothing from it all. He found a new, and better doc, who actually seems to care and know what to look for. At first she thought he had restless leg syndrome and prescribed a med for that, in conjunction with another med to counteract the side effects from the first one. Yeah, that was not my favorite idea either, but if it helped, then great. Scott took the med one night and low and behold, his legs didn't move! Of course he didn't get any sleep, was clammy, dizzy and nauseous the whole night, but his legs didn't move. Sigh. So back to the drawing board. She did some more blood work and found that his cholesterol wasn't stellar either, another reason for all of us to make better food choices. She also found that his hormone levels were wonky (which can cause a disturbance in sleep) so we're now dealing with a script for that and all the side effects that come along. It's also ridiculously expenseive. Sigh. He is sleeping better now, but I still want him to see a specialist to see WHY this is happening and make sure that there is not a larger (and scarier) reason for his levels to be so off.

So there you go, the medical history of the Miller family for this year.

Yikes. That was a long one! I have much more to say and update everyone on, but I thought I should give you all the reasons I've been AWOL here lately. Hopefully, things will calm down and get to a normal place soon :)